thecompassrose

I get home to my anticipating sweet girlfriend who a waits for me in my room. Opening the door excitedly as I get up the stairs she  a waits a calm happy kiss…but this will not happen today. My insides are on fire. And I can’t kiss her lips in this moment. I elusively miss her lips(she worries for a split second)…pass her cheek and kiss her just below her jaw bone…then on the neck while are the same time grasping her waist tightly pulling it close to me. I gracefully take a step backward,   pull back.  Her eye’s aren’t hers anymore, as a person bitten by a vampire she arose a fierce animal with a fire in her eye’s. What have I done? Exactly what I wanted to! It is now she who violently undresses me. Without care or words, we end up in our  socks between my sheets. My 300 dollar shirt may be missing buttons but I do not care. One of her legs is over my thigh as I am leaned in kissing everything between her ear and shoulder. Closing our eyes, there is a faint but dominant bass in the near air. Boom…boom….boom. Our pulses rhythmic, each heart’s beat hard and fervent. Adrenaline. Our imagination tingles with anticipation with the liberating sensations about to come. (Liberating the fire within) Our hands run across the smoothness of each other’s back, making our desire burn more fervently. The calmness before the storm. the recession of water before the crash of the wave. We hold ourselves in this moment patiently struggling, charging every nerve cell to heighten each sensation. Then it comes….I rush into her passionately, like a lover to another kept apart for too long. Time is a distant memory, her muscles: tense. Her back arches. Our head are thrown back in groans and gasping for air, rising falling in bed. Pushing and flexing, then relaxing and falling on one another, closely on each other in love before continuing in the animal like, heightened emotional, perfect storm

I met ____ today. A girl I was so intimidated of but yearned to know. I often keep in mind the story of the primal ancestors and the camel, how they initially feared it because of it’s looks and size only to discover it was a timid creature, easily tamed. Such is the case here in that: she is the sweetesr person I have met. Such a soft spoken voice…I vividly remember the eye contact we held in my introduction. Such caring, sincere eyes. I saw myself transformed in them. She saw me as something larger than life. We’d made solid eye contact a couple times that evening in the gym. Have I changed so much? Have I transformed so much that she was intrigued and charmed by me now? I sensed her interest in her submissive tone and gestures, the gently shy tilt of head but focused fire in her eye locked into mine.  I am so thankful for having met her. The honest truth..I was nervous and took my time almost becoming self defeating in my thoughts, but, I was more afraid of not meeting her. (a sub feeling being that by not it would represent regress rathar than progress.) True north was eminant, I was nervous, I almost shook, anxiety was setting in but it was necessary for me to act in spite of this fear, this feeling. Having the self-confidence and awareness of who I am now only gives me that much more power and focus to charm those girls I find worth my time. There’s no effort involved with these girls. It occurs naturally. I’m so glad I met her! (I’m so glad I denied my fear and acted to prove it wrong) In such a perfect way too. Thank you

I am in a beautiful relationship with a beautiful girl who sincerely loves and cares for me. She’s affectionate and sweet, classy, mysterious, sexy and warm. I am so comfortable with her. I can have privacy with her any time I want. Intamacy in a embrace and kiss on the cheek.  Her smile sends me flying high, it’s a mutual effect. She comes over to my house often, because she knows at times I feel alone. So does she and we cure eachother in this way. We laugh and roll around on my bed watching TV- She’s so sweet to me. She lets me be the man I need to be and I treat her like the lady she deserves to be treated to be treated like. We appreciate eachother so deeply. We really grow, together. I can write and talk about her for hours and I know right now, she’s thinking about me. My favorite times are laying awake in in bed when she curls up next to me. I have my arm around her and I lay there wondering, thanking God, appreciating…these moments are better than rest, they are peace in a world of confusion. It’s certainty…knowing there is no where else right now that I want to be. Just here in the moment with her, hearing her heart beat so close to mine, taking her in, her warmth, her beautiful smell.

-C.R.A.